The Arches was excellent last night; I had the special of cod fillet in tempura batter, with chips, and the whole thing was a demonstration in perfect execution – superb – right down to the quality of the rich tartare sauce. Friend loved his smoked duck salad starter and meatball linguine, and we managed dessert too (I’m full of surprises!)

We happily absorbed a Marlborough Pinot Noir, then a Malbec, and “entertainment” was provided via the adjacent table, from where Keith Floyd’s apparent long-lost brother proceeded to bombard us with a series of ever more ludicrous tales, whilst his partner looked on, nonplussed. Landing planes without lights in total darkness, unlikely prison terms, unlimited wives, and relatives seemingly inventing everything but the wheel. With his penchant for adventure, I was tempted to politely request that he headed for The Kilburn High Road without delay.